Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Trying Not to Shape My Days

"Try not to shape this day as you believe would benefit you most. For you cannot conceive of all the happiness that comes to you without your planning." 

--From A Course in Miracles 

This quote seems to epitomize my life right now. Every day I get up with an idea of what I (we) are going to do and what is going to happen and I find that I am wrong. Very, very wrong. 

Nothing is going to plan right now. No idea or appointment set in stone. I am left wondering what The Universe is preparing me for.

What I know for sure is that I am taking a crash course in letting go and staying in the moment that I do not remember signing up for. I think I am Acing it for the most part, though not without a lot of study and practice. 

Maybe one day I'll get to the point where I throw out my calendar and when someone asks me what I am doing next Tuesday I will automatically respond by saying, "I have absolutely no idea. How could I possibly know what I am doing next Tuesday? When next Tuesday comes I will let you know."

This is the truth as we live it, but for some reason we don't seem to know it. It's not what we have been told, what we have been taught. It is in fact the opposite. 

We are asked (and ask others) about our futures all the time: What are you doing later? Tomorrow? Next week? Where are you going on vacation next year? What college would you like to attend? When are you getting married? Having children? Etc. 

And for the most part we answer. These are questions we have considered and think we have the answers to. We think we know. We make plans. We make lists. We make reservations. Not considering as we do that we are in no way in charge of what will happen to make these plans unlikely, improbable, impossible even.

I do it all the time. And when I do I behave as if I am carving something in stone, instead of sketching a brief outline of what may, someday, if all the stars align, come to pass. 

So at least until school starts and our days take on a more regular quality I am trying not to shape my days with quick-dry cement, but rather with malleable clay that can be constantly reformed to fit the whims of the Universe in the present moment.

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