"Try not to shape this day as you believe would benefit you most. For you cannot conceive of all the happiness that comes to you without your planning."
--From A Course in Miracles
This quote seems to epitomize my life right now. Every day I get up with an idea of what I (we) are going to do and what is going to happen and I find that I am wrong. Very, very wrong.
Nothing is going to plan right now. No idea or appointment set in stone. I am left wondering what The Universe is preparing me for.
What I know for sure is that I am taking a crash course in letting go and staying in the moment that I do not remember signing up for. I think I am Acing it for the most part, though not without a lot of study and practice.
Maybe one day I'll get to the point where I throw out my calendar and when someone asks me what I am doing next Tuesday I will automatically respond by saying, "I have absolutely no idea. How could I possibly know what I am doing next Tuesday? When next Tuesday comes I will let you know."
This is the truth as we live it, but for some reason we don't seem to know it. It's not what we have been told, what we have been taught. It is in fact the opposite.
We are asked (and ask others) about our futures all the time: What are you doing later? Tomorrow? Next week? Where are you going on vacation next year? What college would you like to attend? When are you getting married? Having children? Etc.
And for the most part we answer. These are questions we have considered and think we have the answers to. We think we know. We make plans. We make lists. We make reservations. Not considering as we do that we are in no way in charge of what will happen to make these plans unlikely, improbable, impossible even.
I do it all the time. And when I do I behave as if I am carving something in stone, instead of sketching a brief outline of what may, someday, if all the stars align, come to pass.
So at least until school starts and our days take on a more regular quality I am trying not to shape my days with quick-dry cement, but rather with malleable clay that can be constantly reformed to fit the whims of the Universe in the present moment.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Begin it NOW
"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now."
--Goethe
Today on Dear Soul Sisters, advice to a would-be radio star. Use our tips to make YOUR ultimate dream come true! Love from the Sisters.
--Goethe
Today on Dear Soul Sisters, advice to a would-be radio star. Use our tips to make YOUR ultimate dream come true! Love from the Sisters.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Saying NO
"...[I]n order to cultivate the experience of yes, you must be able to say no, to speak up calmly for your own convictions...The time to say yes is when both your head and your heart freely say yes."
--Frank Andrews, PhD from his book The Art and Practice of Loving
As I continue to make my way through this book, I feel like I am learning and expanding my understanding of love and my capacity to love every day. As I make my way through the nine myths of love (chapter two), I realize that I have been susceptible to nearly all of them. And as I read about saying YES, I realized I had to say no.
To Burning Man.
I did not go.
All summer as we talked about and prepared to make this journey, I found myself frustrated and annoyed whenever it was brought up or any time I had to make time for a meeting or read something or do research. I just never seemed to "find the time" to work on Burning Man.
Excuses, I had those in spades: We had guests staying with us. We were just getting back into the groove after having guests stay with us. More guests were coming; we were getting back into the groove again.
Finally I had to admit that there was no "just" in this situation except for this one: I just did not want to go. I found all of the necessary props (hats and goggles and costumes oh my!) and preparation (packing everything in plastic bags and bins, stocking up on pedialyte, and buying a survivalist's share of water) more of a pain in the ass than anything and finally I had to admit to myself (and to my husband) that I just did not want to go.
I have to admit, last week's quote gave me pause. Was I missing out on a chance to say YES to life?
It wasn't until today when I read this quote that I had the whole picture. What we are saying YES to is LOVE and sometimes that means saying NO to what does not feel like love to us. For many in my Burning Man group these props and preparation are all part of the experience, part of the joy, part of the FUN.
For me, that was just not the case. And that required my heart to tell my head, very politely and calmly, NO.
--Frank Andrews, PhD from his book The Art and Practice of Loving
As I continue to make my way through this book, I feel like I am learning and expanding my understanding of love and my capacity to love every day. As I make my way through the nine myths of love (chapter two), I realize that I have been susceptible to nearly all of them. And as I read about saying YES, I realized I had to say no.
To Burning Man.
I did not go.
All summer as we talked about and prepared to make this journey, I found myself frustrated and annoyed whenever it was brought up or any time I had to make time for a meeting or read something or do research. I just never seemed to "find the time" to work on Burning Man.
Excuses, I had those in spades: We had guests staying with us. We were just getting back into the groove after having guests stay with us. More guests were coming; we were getting back into the groove again.
Finally I had to admit that there was no "just" in this situation except for this one: I just did not want to go. I found all of the necessary props (hats and goggles and costumes oh my!) and preparation (packing everything in plastic bags and bins, stocking up on pedialyte, and buying a survivalist's share of water) more of a pain in the ass than anything and finally I had to admit to myself (and to my husband) that I just did not want to go.
I have to admit, last week's quote gave me pause. Was I missing out on a chance to say YES to life?
It wasn't until today when I read this quote that I had the whole picture. What we are saying YES to is LOVE and sometimes that means saying NO to what does not feel like love to us. For many in my Burning Man group these props and preparation are all part of the experience, part of the joy, part of the FUN.
For me, that was just not the case. And that required my heart to tell my head, very politely and calmly, NO.
Friday, August 26, 2011
One Wild Wave
"Only the supremely brave ever admit
How helpless they are in the hands of God!
As for the others, building and decorating their sandcastles
Look how one wild wave shatters them all."
--RUMI (from my DailyOM Year of Rumi)
This quote arrived in my inbox on a day in which the wild waves of life were shattering my sandcastles. As I lay amidst the piles of sand that were once my life, I tried to be brave. I tried to start rebuilding, with no expectation of permanence.
How helpless they are in the hands of God!
As for the others, building and decorating their sandcastles
Look how one wild wave shatters them all."
--RUMI (from my DailyOM Year of Rumi)
This quote arrived in my inbox on a day in which the wild waves of life were shattering my sandcastles. As I lay amidst the piles of sand that were once my life, I tried to be brave. I tried to start rebuilding, with no expectation of permanence.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Shades of Gray
“...[A]lways remember that no one is completely bad. We're all a mixture. In each of us there's a little of the 'good guy' and a little of the 'bad guy.'"
--Cifford B Hicks from his children's book The Marvelous Inventions of Alvin Fernald
This quote is from a book that was published in 1960. It was mine as a child and I recently read it with my boys. They loved it! And so did I. It was fun and funny, adventurous and mysterious, wacky and just a little bit unbelievable. In other words, the perfect book for two boys under ten.
What I loved about it can best be summed up in this quote. It wasn't all black and white as many kids' books are, there were shades of gray. Shades of gray in Alvin's relationship with his sister and with his parents, shades of gray in his friendship with his best friend Shoie, and shades of gray even in the "bad guy" in the story.
It's something that has always bothered me about kids' books, movies and TV shows - and which I have always admired about the truly great adult entertainment (Dexter, The West Wing, The Wire) - there are no shades of gray. It's Good Guys versus Bad Guys, Us versus Them, The Force versus the Dark Side.
But life is just not like that. Life is lived in shades of gray. And there is good and bad inside of all of us. So much of what causes us pain, I believe, is this idea that we can be all one or the other. Most of us choose to try and be good, but we can't be good all the time. We can't be perfect, nor should we try.
We are all doing the best we can and the best we can is somewhere between black and white, good and bad, The Force and The Dark Side. It's in the shades of gray.
--Cifford B Hicks from his children's book The Marvelous Inventions of Alvin Fernald
This quote is from a book that was published in 1960. It was mine as a child and I recently read it with my boys. They loved it! And so did I. It was fun and funny, adventurous and mysterious, wacky and just a little bit unbelievable. In other words, the perfect book for two boys under ten.
What I loved about it can best be summed up in this quote. It wasn't all black and white as many kids' books are, there were shades of gray. Shades of gray in Alvin's relationship with his sister and with his parents, shades of gray in his friendship with his best friend Shoie, and shades of gray even in the "bad guy" in the story.
It's something that has always bothered me about kids' books, movies and TV shows - and which I have always admired about the truly great adult entertainment (Dexter, The West Wing, The Wire) - there are no shades of gray. It's Good Guys versus Bad Guys, Us versus Them, The Force versus the Dark Side.
But life is just not like that. Life is lived in shades of gray. And there is good and bad inside of all of us. So much of what causes us pain, I believe, is this idea that we can be all one or the other. Most of us choose to try and be good, but we can't be good all the time. We can't be perfect, nor should we try.
We are all doing the best we can and the best we can is somewhere between black and white, good and bad, The Force and The Dark Side. It's in the shades of gray.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Saying Yes!
"A loving experience is one in which you approach the object with a positive attitude, think positively about it, and act openly toward it. You can mix love into any experience by mixing some 'yes' into how you interpret it."
--Frank Andrews, PhD from his book The Art and Practice of Loving
Naturally speaking, I am a naysayer. My first instinct in practically any situation, is to say, "No," and to go into three or four reasons why the idea in question will never work.
As I travel along my spiritual path, however, I am beginning to see that what is called for is to be a yeasayer. Saying "Yes," is much more likely to move one along the path towards enlightenment than saying "No."
I kind of had an inkling that this was true, but when I read this quote I knew Frank Andrews had put into words something that had only been rattling around in my brain, but hadn't quite made it to the conscious thought stage yet.
Loving - a person, an experience, life itself - comes from saying Yes! to it all. The good, the bad, the ugly, the uncomfortable, the painful and the blissful.
One week from today, I will be putting this theory to the test. My husband and I (hereafter known as Mr Z) will be heading out to Burning Man for a few days.
As complete and utter newbies, we have been told to bring water, bikes, sunscreen, goggles, and lots and lots of plastic bags. We are both excited and trepidatious, but for better or worse, we are saying Yes! And I am going to try my damnedest to make it a loving experience.
--Frank Andrews, PhD from his book The Art and Practice of Loving
Naturally speaking, I am a naysayer. My first instinct in practically any situation, is to say, "No," and to go into three or four reasons why the idea in question will never work.
As I travel along my spiritual path, however, I am beginning to see that what is called for is to be a yeasayer. Saying "Yes," is much more likely to move one along the path towards enlightenment than saying "No."
I kind of had an inkling that this was true, but when I read this quote I knew Frank Andrews had put into words something that had only been rattling around in my brain, but hadn't quite made it to the conscious thought stage yet.
Loving - a person, an experience, life itself - comes from saying Yes! to it all. The good, the bad, the ugly, the uncomfortable, the painful and the blissful.
One week from today, I will be putting this theory to the test. My husband and I (hereafter known as Mr Z) will be heading out to Burning Man for a few days.
As complete and utter newbies, we have been told to bring water, bikes, sunscreen, goggles, and lots and lots of plastic bags. We are both excited and trepidatious, but for better or worse, we are saying Yes! And I am going to try my damnedest to make it a loving experience.
Friday, August 19, 2011
What is enlightenment?
Heart Not Head "Enlightenment is the journey back from the head to the heart. "
--Ravi Shankar via @SandraSmilovits on Twitter
Ever since my heart vs. head epiphany, I have been trying to get out of my head and into my heart more and more. My friend Loretta sent me this picture to help me out.
It is a photograph of the drawing Ketut Liyer gives to Elizabeth Gilbert in the movie Eat Pray Love
to help her with her practice. It looks a lot like enlightenment to me. What does enlightenment look like to you? How do you define it? Send me your picture or definition via the comments, I would love to add it to my collection.
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