"It's easy to feel contempt for those humans who aren't as....present, or self-actualized as you are - but why not allow yourself to experience compassion instead? After all, you're hardly perfect; there are certainly people who are further along whatever spectrum you value. Hopefully they're willing to treat you with patience and understanding as you find your way - you should do the same for those who are still working on finding their own paths. This week, ditch scorn and condescension in favor of kindness and empathy. You'll find not only does it inspire all around you - it elevates you as well."
--From my horoscope in Maui Time weekly, May 2010
This is a more eloquent version of what my husband said to me last night after discussing the trials and tribulations of a mutual acquaintance with whom I have lost patience. It is "tough love" time as far as I am concerned and I made no bones about it.
The thing is, even though I was sure I was right, I didn't feel very good afterward. There was a kind of shiny, prideful, hardness in my chest right in the center of my heart.
On the one hand I felt proud of myself for not having fallen prey to this kind of irresponsible behavior when we were in a similar situation....on the other hand I felt proud of myself for knowing exactly what this person "should" do to rectify the situation and make things better for themselves.
But in my heart I felt yucky. Sad. Disappointed. Blocked.
And that's it, isn't it? Even if this prideful self-righteousness can feel kind of shiny and good, really it is blocking some far more useful and better-feeling kind of feelings: empathy, compassion, kindness, love.
And we have to admit that even though what someone is doing may seem wrong or crazy or downright stupid to us, maybe - just maybe - it's the right thing for them. Whether in the reality of this physical plane or for their soul's learning and growth.
And ultimately we have to ask ourselves: Would I rather be kind or would I rather be right?
This week, I choose KIND!