Friday, February 11, 2011
Less than I AM
"Sadness, illness, and despair, are less conditions than they are decisions - to see yourself as less than you really are."
Whoa, talk about a karmic kick in the pants!
I have been despairing of life lately. Feeling the heaviness of it, wallowing in the hardness of it, not seeing the beauty or the joy in it at all.
I'm not sure why. Biorhythms, the weather, hormones....who knows....
As I wrote last month, there is no point in asking WHY? It just is or has been.
Today wasn't any better and my husband and I had a nice big knock-down drag-out right before I had to leave for work - always a pleasant way to start the day.
One of the things he said to me during our "discussion" was that I don't really see myself and therefore I don't really know who I am. At the time it kind of pissed me off.
When I got to work and opened my email, this little gem was sitting in my inbox, just waiting to kick me in the gut, metaphorically speaking.
As soon as I read it I knew that I had somehow gotten seriously off course. I don't know why. I don't know how. I just know it happened and that this was my nudge from the Universe to get back on track and keep things moving in a positive direction.
Run. Meditate. Do some yoga. Breathe. To do whatever I need to do to get in touch with my Divine presence once again, to see myself as I really AM.