The Myth of Meditation

"If it weren't for my mind, my meditation would be excellent." --Pema Chodron 

I think when most of us think about meditation we have this idea of a still mind, a quiet body, an idyllic experience. 

The truth, for most of us, is far from this ideal. 

I have had the chance lately to talk to a couple of people about meditation and the basic theme has been "I can't." 

"I can't because my mind won't stay still." 

"I can't because I don't have the time." 

"I can't because I don't know how."

I laugh now when I see a flyer for a "meditation class," despite having taken at least five or six of these myself, and getting a lot out of each one. 

The fact is, no one can teach you how to meditate because meditation is completely different for every person. 

But what it is not - for most of us anyway - is a blissful hour of complete silence and stillness. 

What it is for me is something like this: 

Wake up. Think about all of the things I need to get done today. Start to make a list. Remember my commitment to "meditate first" every morning. Get up and drag my ass to the kitchen. Pour a glass of water. Head into the living room. Queue up my meditation CD (Master Choa Kok Sui chanting OM). Lie down on the couch. (I often meditate lying down, despite learning in at least a couple of my classes that this is "wrong.") Cover myself with blankets and start to breathe deeply. Realize part of my body is sticking out and reorganize my blankets. Take another deep breath. Start to think about all of the things I need to do today. Think about the TV show I watched last night. Wonder if the main character is going to figure out that she has really blown it this time. Realize I am not meditating. Take a drink of water. Rearrange my blanket. Take another deep breath. 

You get the idea. 

This goes on for 45 minutes to an hour - sometimes a lot less - and then I get up and start to make breakfast for the kids. 

Maybe I felt complete bliss and the total love of the Universe and everything in it for a couple of minutes, maybe not. Usually I come away with at least three or four great ideas, many of which never see the light of day, but some that do. 

The thing is it doesn't matter - not in the least - HOW it all goes. Just that it goes. 

Last week I missed a day. By the end of the day I was so grumpy and angry and out of sorts that I sent myself to bed without any supper - to meditate. When I woke up the next morning, I headed for my spot without hesitation.

It doesn't matter WHAT you do or HOW you do it or WHERE or WHEN or even HOW MUCH you do - a good friend of mine does "just" ten minutes a day and finds that even this small practice makes a big difference in her life - it doesn't matter how it goes or even how you feel during your meditation. 

All that matters is THAT you do it. That you sit - preferably every day - and breathe and connect with that part of yourself that knows itself to be One with everything. However that looks for you and however it works for you. 

So don't get caught up in the myth of meditation, when you could be living the reality of its benefits, NOW.

And so it is...

"All is well." --From the closing prayer at Seattle Unity

Since having my epiphany on Monday about already knowing everything I need to know, I have been really focused on living those four truths. It feels like I have tapped into it in a new way and just in time too. 

My foot is not getting better. In fact, after a probably ill-advised, but desperately needed, hike last weekend and a couple of days chasing after the kids at the Great Wolf Lodge, it is worse than it has been since I first injured it. 

To add injury to injury, my son jumped down a flight of stairs at GWL and injured HIS left heel in what appears to be a freakishly similar way. We even have the same limp, a quaint little hop on the outside edge of our upper left foot.

When he did it, not five hours into a twenty-four hour stay, it was all I could do to hold it together and not start yelling or crying or just pull the plug on the whole thing and head for home. But the four principles of Kahuna healing served me in good stead, as did this little mantra: ALL IS WELL. 

Just keeping saying it to yourself until you believe it. 

Say it as the feelings come and go, rise and swell, ebb and flow. Say it as your heart pounds while driving in Thanksgiving weekend traffic in the pouring rain. Say it as you prepare to gather with friends and family who may or may not be on their best behavior. Say it when the unbelievable, the unwanted and the unasked-for worst happens to you or someone you love. 

You'll be amazed to discover that after awhile, all IS well.

Walk Like A Buddha

I have arrived.
I am home
in the here,
in the now.
I am solid.
I am free.
In the ultimate
I dwell. 

--From “Walk Like a Buddha” by Thich Nhat Hanh in Tricycle magazine, Summer 2011.

I am borrowing this quote from this week's Dear Soul Sisters' post entitled "Are We There Yet?" It's a good one if you always feel like you are WAITING for something. But also a good reminder that on the spiritual journey we are never "there," and always on our way to "there." 

Here's one of my favorite songs about waiting:

When in doubt...

"When in doubt MEDITATE."

--A Monk from Whistler, BC

This quote is from one of the very first meditation classes I ever took. We were on vacation in Whistler, BC and one of the healing centers there was offering a free meditation class on a Saturday morning. My kids were still very young - so young that I was nervous to leave them for a couple of hours even with my husband - but I knew somehow that I needed to do this.

So a friend and I took off early on that Saturday morning to meditate with a Canadian monk. I don't remember a lot from the class about the specific meditation method he taught, but I remember the feeling I had in that room - sheer terror (because I was "stepping away" from what I thought was my role as a mother to ALWAYS be there for and with my children) and sheer calm (because the monk's voice was so soothing and the energy in the room was so soft and unfrantic).

As time went on I took more meditation classes and practiced different forms of meditation, but one meditation has stuck with me throughout my practice. It is the one I do every night before I go to bed, and sometimes during the day as well. It is called The Violet Flame.

This meditation was gifted to us by Saint Germain, an Ascended Master of the Seventh Ray (Violet) for our release from past karma and purification of our physical and auric bodies. There are many different versions of this meditation. The one I use was taught to me by my friend Cindy, a psychic and gifted healer.

The gifts of this meditation in my life have been both extraordinary and mundane. On a day to day basis, it helps to keep me grounded and centered. It also helps me to clear out any negative energy that may be surrounding me or that I may be releasing that day. It works on energy from within and from without and is available to us in any moment that we choose to use it.

When Cindy first taught me the meditation she challenged us to try it for 30 days and to expect miracles. While I don't know that anyone else would consider it a miracle, I know that the landscape of my internal universe changed for the better after those 30 days and that this meditation continues to have a positive effect on me every time I do it. I urge you to try it for 30 days and see what happens! Click here for a printable version of the meditation.

May all of the blessings of The Violet Flame be yours!

[Today at 8:00 AM PT I am going to be on "Get Glowing," my sister's weekly radio show talking about, among other things, meditation and The Violet Flame. Click here to tune in!]

The Moment Before Zero

“If zero is the place where the physical world begins then the moment before zero is the place of angels and demons, the starting point of the soul...Finding and returning to zero is a skill that cannot be underestimated...”

--Stephen Tobolowsky, "The Tobolowsky Files," episode 42

I am obsessed with a new (to me) podcast I discovered last week called "The Tobolowsky Files." In it legendary character actor (you probably won't recognize his name, but if you have ever gone to the movies, you WILL recognize his face) Stephen Tobolowsky tells stories from his life and career, but with a decidedly spiritual twist. 

It was episode 42 (entitled "The Moment Before Zero") that made me fall in love with this podcast, and just a little bit with Stephen Tobolowsky. 

On one level he is talking about acting. How the actor must always "return to zero" after every take so as not to display the naturally ensuing emotion of the scene before the action takes place. On another level he is talking about nothing short of the creation of the universe. 

Let me see if I can get this right: according to Stephen, if the Big Bang Theory is correct and there was a moment in time in which the Universe and everything in it (or at the very least the potential for everything in it) was created then there must have been a moment BEFORE that moment - the moment before zero. 

This is the moment, he says, "of magic and imagination" and "the place of angels and demons." 

As I sat there listening for the first time I had no idea who this man was or even what his name was, but all I could think was, "I am in the presence of genius." I was so enraptured with this idea that it was, very simply for me, a moment before zero. 

This is the place that I am searching for. The moment BEFORE the mind kicks in and starts THINKING about things, the moment of pure experience, true joy, unadulterated living. 

It is that moment in meditation when you forget yourself, "the gap" that sometimes opens up in your mind when you are in that pure state of just BEING. 

The moment before zero is a holy place, a sacred place, a place of angels and demons and sometimes, if we are very lucky, of mere mortals as well. 

I encourage you to try The Tobolowsky Files and see what you think. I also encourage you to find your own "moment before zero" as often as you can.

[Tomorrow on Dear Soul Sisters we attempt to answer the question, "Why are we here?" And talk even more about Stephen Tobolowsky and "the moment before zero." ]

Vertigo

"Anyone whose goal is 'something higher' must expect someday to suffer vertigo. What is vertigo? Fear of falling? No, Vertigo is something other than fear of falling. It is the voice of the emptiness below us which tempts and lures us, it is the desire to fall, against which, terrified, we defend ourselves." 

--Milan Kundera 

I came across this quote when searching for another Milan Kundera quote, which I may use later this week. It took me awhile to even understand it. I had to read it a couple of times, sleep on it and then read it again. 

Now that I have, I love it. 

I think this is an almost perfect description of what happens to us when our Ego is threatened. We perceive some kind of attack from the outside. Our Ego begins to fear for its life and fight back. We lash out, we run, we hide, we avoid; we use whatever coping mechanisms we have learned and/or have at our disposal in that moment. 

At the same time, on some level we long for this kind of attack - welcome it even - because we desperately want to let go of our Ego and dive back into the ethereal energy soup of light, love and Oneness even though it terrifies us. 

Lately I have been experimenting with "feeling my feelings" and it feels a little bit like Kundera's definition of vertigo. 

When a strong feeling comes over me - sadness, anger, even joy - my initial reaction is to shut it down, minimize it, make it smaller and thus more manageable. 

My coping mechanisms tend to fall into two categories: escape and projection. 

When I feel fear or anger come up I usually try and project it onto someone else. I yell at my kids or pick a fight with my husband. When it's sadness or insecurity I'm feeling I run and hide, escaping into a book or a movie or a fantasy life. 

Breaking these habits isn't easy, but the more I practice the more I find that when something with a strong emotional component is coming up for me, what I long for is meditation, to find a place of stillness and calm where I can just ride the wave. 

I lie down and just BREATHE - in and out - letting the emotions rise and fall like waves which I ride into the emptiness, finding that it is not so terrifying after all.

"If we really knew how unhappy it was making this whole planet that we all try to avoid pain and seek pleasure - how that was making us so miserable and cutting us off from our basic heart and our basic intelligence - then we would practice meditation as if our hair were on fire."

Pema Chodron (again) from her book When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times