"If it weren't for my mind, my meditation would be excellent." --Pema Chodron
I think when most of us think about meditation we have this idea of a still mind, a quiet body, an idyllic experience.
The truth, for most of us, is far from this ideal.
I have had the chance lately to talk to a couple of people about meditation and the basic theme has been "I can't."
"I can't because my mind won't stay still."
"I can't because I don't have the time."
"I can't because I don't know how."
I laugh now when I see a flyer for a "meditation class," despite having taken at least five or six of these myself, and getting a lot out of each one.
The fact is, no one can teach you how to meditate because meditation is completely different for every person.
But what it is not - for most of us anyway - is a blissful hour of complete silence and stillness.
What it is for me is something like this:
Wake up. Think about all of the things I need to get done today. Start to make a list. Remember my commitment to "meditate first" every morning. Get up and drag my ass to the kitchen. Pour a glass of water. Head into the living room. Queue up my meditation CD (Master Choa Kok Sui chanting OM). Lie down on the couch. (I often meditate lying down, despite learning in at least a couple of my classes that this is "wrong.") Cover myself with blankets and start to breathe deeply. Realize part of my body is sticking out and reorganize my blankets. Take another deep breath. Start to think about all of the things I need to do today. Think about the TV show I watched last night. Wonder if the main character is going to figure out that she has really blown it this time. Realize I am not meditating. Take a drink of water. Rearrange my blanket. Take another deep breath.
You get the idea.
This goes on for 45 minutes to an hour - sometimes a lot less - and then I get up and start to make breakfast for the kids.
Maybe I felt complete bliss and the total love of the Universe and everything in it for a couple of minutes, maybe not. Usually I come away with at least three or four great ideas, many of which never see the light of day, but some that do.
The thing is it doesn't matter - not in the least - HOW it all goes. Just that it goes.
Last week I missed a day. By the end of the day I was so grumpy and angry and out of sorts that I sent myself to bed without any supper - to meditate. When I woke up the next morning, I headed for my spot without hesitation.
It doesn't matter WHAT you do or HOW you do it or WHERE or WHEN or even HOW MUCH you do - a good friend of mine does "just" ten minutes a day and finds that even this small practice makes a big difference in her life - it doesn't matter how it goes or even how you feel during your meditation.
All that matters is THAT you do it. That you sit - preferably every day - and breathe and connect with that part of yourself that knows itself to be One with everything. However that looks for you and however it works for you.
So don't get caught up in the myth of meditation, when you could be living the reality of its benefits, NOW.
"We are finally at a place of fully expressing our divinity in a way that expires our old (clearing) contracts and deeply embedded programming that we are here to 'save the world.' There is no saving or service required any longer...we are simply here now to share the part of ourselves that will, by default, uplift others. The shift is important here because when [we] work from a place of 'saving,' we are holding onto the very paradigm that we are now breaking free from.”
--Lauren C. Gorgo from her blog Conscious Co-Creation Coaching
This blog post preempts a previously scheduled post, but when I read this quote this morning I just knew this was what I wanted to post today.
(On a side note, you may have noticed that there is no blog post for Wednesday this week. There was, but it disappeared. Not even kidding. I wrote it. I posted it. I even viewed it, but when I came back to the blog today, it was gone. I am going to take this as a sign from The Universe that this particular post was not meant to be. A small anomaly that points to a larger purpose, whatever that may be....)
The world is changing and we are changing with it. These changes are not always comfortable and do not always make sense to our three-dimensional selves, but they are happening nonetheless.
The great news is that this new way of being in the world means more love and more freedom for all of us. The chance to just BE who we are at the deepest level and to know that that is enough, that that is perfect, that that is all that is asked of us.
If you are interested in reading more about this shift, click here to read Lauren's full blog post.
This quote at first may seem like it is advocating greater selfishness, narcissism and isolationism, but rather than a complete disconnect from the altruism and service model of spirituality, I think of it as a subtle shift from SAVING to SHARING.
It's not that we are not here to help each other out, but that we are not here to SAVE anyone. It is no longer a top down model, but a Oneness model.
Each of us brings a certain special energy into this world and our job here on Earth is to express that energy to the best of our ability. In that way we share with each other and benefit the whole. We do not sacrifice ourselves for others nor do we ask that they do so for us, but we mutually support each other in becoming the highest expression of ourselves that is possible for the benefit of all.
What is your highest expression and how are you expressing it?
An example of this for me this week was going to yoga yesterday and being seated next to the most flexible woman i have ever seen. She could pull her foot up and over behind her back and practically touch her head while standing on one foot. Damn her!
I spent a good deal of the time in class trying not to look at her version of each posture, while secretly looking at her version of the posture and hating her for it.
Finally I realized that she is just expressing who she is. She is VERY FLEXIBLE. It's like her super-power. And her expression of this VERY FLEXIBLE energy makes room in the world for those of us who are less flexible. She is being flexibility so I don't have to be. So I can be my highest expression, whatever that may be (I am still working on discovering my super-power...).
So I paused and thanked her for that and then returned to my own eyes in the mirror.
That's not to say that I didn't "pop out" of this place of love and appreciation from time to time when my postures couldn't help but not measure up to hers in some part of my comparing mind, but I always tried to return to that place of love and appreciation as soon as I could.
Her being who she is allows me to be who I am. You being who you are allows me to be who I am. Anyone being the highest expression of themselves benefits all of us. And anyone sacrificing who they are to save someone else diminishes not only the person being "saved," but all of us.
On a personal note, this quote has the distinct honor of being the 1000th quote that I have recorded. It feels like kind of a milestone and yet, like I still have a long ways to go and many more wise words to absorb. So thanks to all of the writers, teachers and fellow humans who have inspired me thus far. You rock!
