Knowing that I don't know

"Part of true knowing is knowing that we do not know." --Unknown, from an article entitled, "“Rising Above Sham Spirituality Part 1” from www.thenewcall.org 

I don't know what to write today. In fact, it is not even today, it is tomorrow. I am post-dating this post. 

I didn't post anything yesterday because I just did not know what to write. I wrote three or four posts, but none of them screamed "Post me!" so I didn't. I just let it go, knowing that something would come. 

And yet, here it is tomorrow and I still don't know what I want to write about this week. So I am just trying to be okay with that and I am going to share with you something fabulous that someone else wrote (and recorded).

I heard this story on NPR last Friday about Opal the Octopus who gave birth to 50,000 babies in a den in the Puget Sound near downtown Seattle and it just touched my heart for some reason. I feel sad and happy all at the same time when I think about Opal and her babies and all she gave for them. I hope you will enjoy it too. 

Knowing that we don't know is one of the hardest things there is about this human life I think. Maybe writer's block is the Universe's way of teaching me to be more comfortable with that. I am trying to learn. In the meantime, enjoy the story, enjoy the video and enjoying knowing that you don't know. Much love!

When in doubt...

"When in doubt MEDITATE."

--A Monk from Whistler, BC

This quote is from one of the very first meditation classes I ever took. We were on vacation in Whistler, BC and one of the healing centers there was offering a free meditation class on a Saturday morning. My kids were still very young - so young that I was nervous to leave them for a couple of hours even with my husband - but I knew somehow that I needed to do this.

So a friend and I took off early on that Saturday morning to meditate with a Canadian monk. I don't remember a lot from the class about the specific meditation method he taught, but I remember the feeling I had in that room - sheer terror (because I was "stepping away" from what I thought was my role as a mother to ALWAYS be there for and with my children) and sheer calm (because the monk's voice was so soothing and the energy in the room was so soft and unfrantic).

As time went on I took more meditation classes and practiced different forms of meditation, but one meditation has stuck with me throughout my practice. It is the one I do every night before I go to bed, and sometimes during the day as well. It is called The Violet Flame.

This meditation was gifted to us by Saint Germain, an Ascended Master of the Seventh Ray (Violet) for our release from past karma and purification of our physical and auric bodies. There are many different versions of this meditation. The one I use was taught to me by my friend Cindy, a psychic and gifted healer.

The gifts of this meditation in my life have been both extraordinary and mundane. On a day to day basis, it helps to keep me grounded and centered. It also helps me to clear out any negative energy that may be surrounding me or that I may be releasing that day. It works on energy from within and from without and is available to us in any moment that we choose to use it.

When Cindy first taught me the meditation she challenged us to try it for 30 days and to expect miracles. While I don't know that anyone else would consider it a miracle, I know that the landscape of my internal universe changed for the better after those 30 days and that this meditation continues to have a positive effect on me every time I do it. I urge you to try it for 30 days and see what happens! Click here for a printable version of the meditation.

May all of the blessings of The Violet Flame be yours!

[Today at 8:00 AM PT I am going to be on "Get Glowing," my sister's weekly radio show talking about, among other things, meditation and The Violet Flame. Click here to tune in!]

Some Thoughts about Stress

"Stress is when your [heart] says NO, but your mouth says YES." 

--Unknown, on a gas station reader board 

“Stress is basically a disconnection from the earth, a forgetting of the breath. Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that important. Just lie down.” 

--Natalie Goldberg 

I have been feeling a little stressed out this week. There is a lot going on in our little corner of the world, most of it good stuff, but still it has left me feeling like I just don't have enough hours in the day to get it all done!

The Universe, in its infinite wisdom, sent me these two quotes this week to help me think about the stress I am feeling. 

The first came from the reader board at our local gas station. Usually their quotes are more "punny" than deep, but this one struck me as somewhat profound and I asked myself, "What am I saying YES to, that I would like to say NO to?"

As I thought about it I realized that I am happy to be doing everything I am doing. It is not WHAT I am doing that is stressing me out, but HOW. I am trying to do everything to other people's expectations as I perceive them and to the standards of my perfectionist self. 

Instead of staying in the moment, taking things as they come and doing the best I can in that moment, I am making lists and laying out plans and creating the future in my head and then trying to live up to the perfect fantasy future I have created as if it were pre-ordained instead of just one possibility. And this is where my stress is coming from.

Thus I am eternally grateful for the second quote, which put me quite neatly in my place: "Nothing is that important. Just lie down.

So I did. For ten minutes. And when I got up I picked up my laptop and did the next thing to the best of my ability in that moment. Thanks for reading it.

Deep Water

"Here is the deep water."

--poem by an unknown second grader

Every Friday at our school one of the classes reads a poem over the loudspeaker to the whole school. For a few brief moments before beginning the day, every child in the school pauses, listens and considers the world through poetry. We call it "Poetry Aloud."

Today was a special day. The last Friday of the school year (and thus, the last "Poetry Aloud" of the school year...). And our current Principal's last Friday at our school.

To mark this occaision, he read the poem for the day. It was a poem he first read as a student teacher.

Before beginning to read he warned us that it was going to be short, but I think most of us were stunned at just how short. After he finished he added, "That's it."

But then he went on to talk about endings. And beginnings. About how much he has loved being at our school, but that like a child learning to swim he must head out for ever deeper water. About how each of our children will be doing the same next year when they come back to a different grade, a different class, a different teacher.

It was a quiet, profound moment and made me remember, once again, the French word, "approfondement."

I hear this poem as a call to be in the present moment, fully, deeply. HERE is the deep water.

How do you hear it?

Dutiful is (sometimes) Beautiful

"I slept and dreamt that life was Joy. I woke and saw that Life was Duty. I acted, and behold, Duty was Joy." 

--Unknown from a YogiTea tea bag

I was up all night with sick kids, after hosting a dinner party at which I drank WAY too much red wine. By all rights I should be a mess right now, but for some reason I feel pretty darn good. 

I spent the night lying all curled up at the bottom of my sons' beds; first one and then the other, moving whenever I heard that still, small voice calling out, "Mommy!"

"Mommy, I got sick again." 

"Mommy, I need some water." 

"Mommy, I wet the bed."

"Mommy, is it my turn for snuggles?"

Midnight, one AM, three AM, six AM....there may have been more, I kind of lost count somewhere along the way....

The funny thing is instead of feeling martyred or exhausted or hungover or even resentful (my husband was enjoying a blissfully uninterrupted night's sleep), I felt....dutiful. 

And that felt beautiful. 

My Dearest Friends

"I will recognize in everyone my dearest friend." 

--Unknown

I have been feeling kind of lonely lately. 

There are a lot of people in my life, from various facets of my life, who I appreciate and enjoy spending time with and love, but it seems that they are all scattered right now. 

With so many of my friends, our paths don't seem to cross every day, or even every week. There are very few people (aside from my husband and my boys) who I see and interact with every day. 

I guess this is just a fact of modern life. We are all involved in so many things that we are constantly ebbing and flowing in and out of each others' lives. 

While pondering this new reality (up until last year when I went back to work there were other parents I was hanging out with pretty much every day), I heard the words "love everyone," and remembered this quote.  I think I might try it.

Instead of looking around and hoping to see a friend, why not see who appears in front of me today and meet that person as a friend?

Peace.

"Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart." 

--Unknown, from the Femail Creations catalog

A lot of my favorite quotes feel like they were written just for me. Like The Universe said to the author, "Okay this is what she needs to hear today so write this."  

This is one of those.

My life is not inherently very peaceful what with two active boys, an aging cat, an old house, and a horny husband there is always something (or someone) that needs doing. In spite of all this I am still under the illusion that someday I am going to have PEACE.

This quote helped me to realize that peace is not something you HAVE, it is something you ARE.

So now I know that it is up to me.  I can rearrange the goal in my head and try and BE PEACE. 

Thank you Universe for once again sending me the exact message I needed to hear.

Open Your Eyes!

"Love lives in everything -

Little or big.

Open your eyes."

--Unknown, from the guest book in the ladies' room at Thrive Cafe

Every time I go to Thrive I make sure to include a trip to the ladies' room to read their guest book. I always find something worthwhile written there. 

On my most recent visit, it included this little gem of a reminder. I feel like it's like a love poem from The Universe to all of us. 

And I believe it has worked on me in the days since I read it. 

A couple of weeks ago I was walking home from dropping the kids off at school, texting and emailing as I went, when I suddenly looked up and saw the beauty all around me - the pure blue sky, the dark green foliage, the fresh clean air - and I realized I was missing all of it. 

I couldn't remember the last time I had made that walk without my head in my iPhone and that struck me as a little bit sad.

So I decided to try and "just walk" for the rest of the year, whenever I was walking. 

I did well for about a week and then the pull of old habits sucked me back in, so far that I didn't even realize it until I sat down to write today, found this quote, and remembered that I was supposed to be opening my eyes. 

So today I recommit myself to that and ask you to join me. What beauty - what love - in your life are you missing? Open your eyes to it!

If you want different results, do things differently.

Unknown

"LET GO AND HAVE A NICE DAY - IT MAY BE YOUR LAST ON THIS EARTH."

Unknown

"We attract into our lives whatever we think about most, believe in most strongly, expect on the deepest level, and imagine most vividly."

Unknown

"Your desire to please others might cost you too much...Don't forget to put your own name on the list of those you want to help. "

Unknown, from an old horoscope column in the Seattle P-I

"Start where you are."

Unknown