Monday Moodlifter

"Kindness is love in action."

--The Universe

Every other Monday I bring coffee to a teacher at our kids' school. I call it "the Monday Moodlifter" and it was the raffle item I donated for Teacher Appreciation Week last year (kudos to my sister-in-law for the idea :) . 

Every time I walk in the door with coffee in hand, my son's teacher is surprised and pleased and I feel good inside.

Andy Smallman is teaching people to make the Monday Moodlifter a way of life through his online kindness classes.

I first read about Andy in Ode magazine, which featured him in their July/August issue. His online classes in kindness are simple, thoughtful and, best of all, free (he does accept donations for his time).

Every Sunday he posts the week's kindness theme on his website. Each student reads the post and decides for themselves how to enact that week's theme. Some of the themes so far have included: do something kind for a stranger, do something kind for a friend, do something kind for yourself.

On Wednesday or Thursday Andy sends out a mid-week inspiration and then at the end of each week a weekly reflection. Students are also encouraged to blog about their experience after completing their weekly act of kindness.

I don't know about you but just reading about this makes me feel joyful and glad to be alive and a part of this great big beautiful world. 

Just think for a moment about a world in which we are ALL taking the kindness class - that IS WORLD PEACE. 

Do something kind for a stranger. Do something kind for a friend. Do something kind for yourself. 

Kindness IS love in action. 

Unconditional Love Shower

"From my heart to yours, I shower you with unconditional love."

--A Blessing from Master Stephen Co

For some reason I am feeling like we could all use a shower of unconditional love today.

I received this blessing from Master Stephen Co during a Pranic Healing workshop that I attended a few years ago and have used it ever since.

Sometimes I use it on my kids, sometimes I use it on my family and friends, sometimes I use it on myself. 

Most often I find that I use it when I don't know what else to do. When I don't know what to say or how to help, I send a shower of unconditional love, hoping that it can somehow do what I can't or don't know how to do. 

I am sending you a shower of unconditional love today. I hope it helps with whatever is happening for you. 

Choosing Kindness

"It's easy to feel contempt for those humans who aren't as....present, or self-actualized as you are - but why not allow yourself to experience compassion instead? After all, you're hardly perfect; there are certainly people who are further along whatever spectrum you value. Hopefully they're willing to treat you with patience and understanding as you find your way - you should do the same for those who are still working on finding their own paths. This week, ditch scorn and condescension in favor of kindness and empathy. You'll find not only does it inspire all around you - it elevates you as well."

--From my horoscope in Maui Time weekly, May 2010

This is a more eloquent version of what my husband said to me last night after discussing the trials and tribulations of a mutual acquaintance with whom I have lost patience. It is "tough love" time as far as I am concerned and I made no bones about it. 

The thing is, even though I was sure I was right, I didn't feel very good afterward. There was a kind of shiny, prideful, hardness in my chest right in the center of my heart.

On the one hand I felt proud of myself for not having fallen prey to this kind of irresponsible behavior when we were in a similar situation....on the other hand I felt proud of myself for knowing exactly what this person "should" do to rectify the situation and make things better for themselves.

But in my heart I felt yucky. Sad. Disappointed. Blocked. 

And that's it, isn't it? Even if this prideful self-righteousness can feel kind of shiny and good, really it is blocking some far more useful and better-feeling kind of feelings: empathy, compassion, kindness, love. 

And we have to admit that even though what someone is doing may seem wrong or crazy or downright stupid to us, maybe - just maybe - it's the right thing for them. Whether in the reality of this physical plane or for their soul's learning and growth. 

And ultimately we have to ask ourselves: Would I rather be kind or would I rather be right? 

This week, I choose KIND!

The Beauty of Not Knowing

"If you ask a Protestant from the American Midwest to commit to a dinner date next week, that Protestant, believing that she is the captain of her own destiny will say, 'Thursday night works fine for me.' But if you ask a Catholic from Calabria to make the same commitment, he will only shrug, turn his eyes to God, and ask, 'How can any of us know whether we will be free for dinner next Thursday night, given that everything is in God's hands and none of us can know our fate?'"

--From Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia by Elizabeth Gilbert

More and more these days when I ask my higher self a question about what I should do, the answer I receive is, "I don't know."

At first I found this very frustrating. I have usually known exactly what I wanted (or didn't want) throughout my life and the times when I didn't - the times when the only clear answer was, "I don't know" - were the times when I was suffering from extreme anxiety or having a panic attack.

But as I grow older the "I don't know," becomes less panicky and more matter-of-fact. Sometimes you just don't know.

In fact, as this quote would suggest, often - perhaps even ALWAYS - we just don't know what's going to happen next or the best course of action to take.

As I contemplate this, I am trying to get more comfortable with it, embrace it even, and as I do I start to see the beauty of it. The absolute beauty of I DON'T KNOW.

There is a kind of giddy excitement that comes with not knowing, not planning every moment of my life. Just letting life come, as it will, without orchestrating every moment.

In Buddhism they call it The Middle Way. Not pushing, not resisting, just ALLOWING.

The Middle Way is like balancing on the sharp edge of a knife: it's tricky, sometimes painful, but ultimately exciting. The extreme sport of life. 


And I say - BRING IT!

True Religion

"The truest religion is love."

--From "Citizens of the World" by PANGEA

If a picture is worth a thousand words a video must be worth at least a blog entry's worth. This seems the perfect follow-up to yesterday's entry. Thanks to my newest follower for this....
 

Releasing Judgment

"The Holy Spirit would help you realize that what you are seeing in this other person is what you do not want to see in yourself."

--Ken Wapnick from his book The Healing Power of Kindness, Vol. 1: Releasing Judgment 

I have taken down the post I originally wrote for today. It was about an encounter I had with fundamentalism in a religion of which I was previously a follower. 

No matter how much I edited it, it felt like I just couldn't get rid of the snark. And that is one thing I do not want for this blog - snark. 

I am tired of being snarky and sarcastic and pessimistic. I want to move into a space where I can be hopeful and optimistic and kind.

But the snark is still there. It's in me. After so many years how could it not be? 

So I guess this time I was a mirror for myself. I saw my own snarkiness and reacted negatively to it knowing that it was reflecting my own snarkiness back to me and showing me where I still have work to do. 

So, thanks, Self for helping me to see ME more clearly.

The Race to Somewhere

"You are a beautiful expression of the possibilities of The Universe."

--Graffiti in the girl's bathroom at The Nova Project

Last week I went with a friend to see the documentary film Race to Nowhere. I had never heard of the movie and had no idea what to expect. I was blown away. 

The film documents what is wrong with the American education system not by putting the focus on our poor and under-performing schools, but by focusing on some of our country's best schools. 

Featuring interviews with kids and educators, the film documents the increasing pressure on our kids to perform and succeed, often at the cost of their childhoods, their happiness, and sometimes even their lives. 

I have to admit it gave me pause - and made me consider homeschooling. 

According to this film, children as young as third grade are feeling overwhelmed by the pressures put on them at school. They are suffering from stomachaches, headaches, panic attacks, and some are even taking their own lives. 

The irony? Kids under this kind of pressure actually do WORSE in school than kids who have more freedom and less pressure.

It made me really glad that we had a "choice day" scheduled for the next day. 

"Choice day" is something we came up with last year when my kids wanted a day off from school, but were not sick. I know that sometimes I just need a day off and figured the kids deserved the same. Since it was a half day the next day, it seemed the perfect opportunity to take a choice day. 

What did we do? A whole lotta nothin'. And by the end of the day, I could see the difference in them, feel the difference in them. They were more relaxed, less intense, happier....

Last year I went for a run with friend who also has a kid in elementary school. Inevitably we started talking about homework and how hard it is sometimes to get our kids to sit down and focus on it, how frustrating this gets for all of us and what we can do about it. 

After sharing our stories and strategies for a few minutes there was a pause in the conversation and then he said, "The bottom line is, I just want my daughter to be happy. If she is happy, I will consider that a success." 

Amen to that my brother. Amen to that. 

But what does happiness mean? 

Does it mean success? Does it mean getting what you want? Does it mean helping others? 

This is the BIG QUESTION that we are all trying to answer for ourselves, but if we have children for them too. 

WHAT IS HAPPINESS? HOW DO WE ACHIEVE IT? HOW DO WE HELP OUR KIDS ACHIEVE IT?

And that is a question that every person, every parent has to answer for themselves. I am just grateful to this movie for reminding me to ask the question.

NB: I saw the movie at The Nova Project, a local alternative school for kids who don't do well in traditional educational settings. The school, while a bit run-down and certainly not "state of the art" in any way, was full of signs (some in the form of graffiti) that this was a place where kids were loved and supported and learning....to be the greatest expression of themselves. In other words, learning how to be happy.

If you would like to see the movie, Race to Nowhere, it is screening twice this week in Seattle at Villa Academy on Tuesday, Nov 2nd and Thursday, November 4th @ 7PM.