Reflections on 11/11/11

"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see." --Henry David Thoreau

I got this quote off of Twitter on 11/11/11. I didn't realize how appropriate is was until I sat down to write today. I am going to share with you a journal entry I wrote about 11/11/11 on the morning of that day. I have to say that I have not felt a huge shift in the energy as a result of 11/11/11, but as I said in my journal, perhaps that is okay. Perhaps that is as is it meant to be.  

"Well, so far, the energy of 11/11/11 is nothing to write home about, or rather, is business as usual. My foot hurts today and my body is tired and I just want to sleep. It is a blustery day and I am waiting at Mosaic to teach my class. I don't know if anyone is coming. Come to that, I don't know if I WANT anybody to come. I am grumpy and disappointed....I guess I didn't really expect to feel anything major so perhaps that is why I didn't. But I was hoping I would. I was hoping I would feel a lot - a SHIFT, a change, a radical restructuring of my life and my DNA. And maybe I have. Maybe that is what has been going on for the past few months (years?). All the yuck and releasing and STUFF that has come out and come up. Maybe 11/11/11 is just an arbitrary date for what is already happening/has happened in our world. A waking up, a shifting, a changing of perspectives and priorities. I have changed - radically some would say - over the past ten years and maybe that is what I am meant to celebrate on this day. NOT a sudden and uncontrollable shift that happens from the outside, but the slow, gradual, but still radical, changes that have manifested in my life over the past 10 years through lots of blood, sweat, tears and work. Countless hours of reading, sitting, walking, running, meditating. Countless hours of fighting and struggling and yelling and failing and despairing and giving up and trying again. Maybe that's what 11/11/11 is all about. For all of us. The culmination of all our hard work over the past however many years since our awakening and the beginning of the next phase of it. If this is where we have ended up, I for one, can't wait to see what comes next!"

Divinely Reassigned

"I have been Divinely reassigned."  --Excuse from The Universe

I finally talked to my sister on the phone last night, a full 36 hours after our scheduled check-in by phone (we are going to be interviewed on the radio today about our advice column Dear Soul Sisters - click HERE for the replay). When I called her I led with, "Sorry it has been so much longer than we planned. Things just sort of....came up that didn't expect the past two days."

Without skipping a beat she said, "You mean you were Divinely reassigned?"

I had to laugh. That summed it up perfectly. "Yes," I replied, "I was definitely Divinely reassigned."

What ensued was a lively conversation in which we considered all of the possible senarios in which we might use this excuse. "I'm sorry I can't have a root canal today, I've been Divinely reassigned."

And who could argue with you? Saying you have been Divinely reassigned works on so many levels. First, for those of us who believe in a Higher Power, a Divine Universe assisting us behind the scenes, it is so often true. What we have planned is not what God has in mind for us that day and He/She makes no bones about it: THE PLAN HAS CHANGED.

Second, how exactly does one argue with someone else's Divine guidance? It's a bold, if not completely arrogant move, and not many would dare to go there.

Third, it just sounds good. Much better than, "I just don't feel like it today," "I'm sick," or even, "I'm just not that into you."

"I'm sorry, we won't be dating anymore, I have been Divinely reassigned to someone who treats me better and, oh yeah, has fresher breath."

It's fun to play around with this concept, but in all seriousness, how much easier would our lives go if we allowed ourselves to be more open to Divine reassignment? If we recognized that every plan we make, every date we pencil in (even in ink), every course we set is subject to Divine reassignment and met that not with wails of protest and mountains of resistance, but with a shrug, a laugh and a slight course correction.

No matter what, the rain falls...

"Mostly, change is as inevitable as rain in the spring. Some of us just put on our raincoats and splash forward, some of us choose to stay home, a few admirable nuts shed their clothes and cavort in the yard, and some people go out and get deeply, resentfully, and miserably wet. And no matter what, the rain falls." --Amy Bloom in O magazine

No matter what, the rain falls. I love that. And truer words have never been spoken about fall in the Northwest. The rain falls, and it falls, and it falls...and then it falls some more. 

Sometimes at this time of year it seems impossible to make any progress, to get anything done. I start to eat more, exercise less and want to sleep ALL THE TIME. 

Nonetheless, life does go on. Dishes need to be washed, garbage needs to be taken out and laundry needs to be done. 

It also seems to be a time of great change. The weather, of course, is changing and because of that the clothes and shoes we wear are changing. School starts, so for many of us our schedules and routines change. The holidays start to loom so there is something new to focus on every month. 

A lot of changes are happening around our house this fall. And a lot of changes are happening in my writing life. Starting later this month I am teaching a class (would love for you to attend btw...) and my sister and I are starting to write a book together. I am also doing some writing for Verity Credit Union and have applied to be the next Verity Mom. 

So....a lot is happening. 

So far I have managed to keep up with TRO (the refrigerator oracle), but it hasn't been easy at times and I have not been as pleased with every post as I would like to have been. 

So (that's a lot of so's in a row :) as last year around the time of my blogaversary, this year I am making some changes to the format of TRO. Instead of posting three times per week with whatever strikes my fancy that day, I will be posting quotes whenever they come to me and then once a week (probably on Fridays) I will write a longer post about the week. What has been going on, what I have been working on, what I have learned and what quote or quotes have informed the week. 

My hope is that each post will be a meatier, juicier morsel of goodness to devour. Similar to some of my favorite posts like this one and this one and this one. 

I hope you will continue reading and sharing this journey to enlightenment with me. We've still got quite a ways to go I'm thinking! 

May you be one of the admirable nuts shedding their clothes and cavorting in the yard this fall!

[Don't forget my class, WRITE YOUR LIFE, starts this Friday. I hope you can join us!]

Changing the World

"When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country. But it, too, seemed immovable. As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me, but alas, they would have none of it. And now as I lie on my deathbed, I suddenly realize: If I had only changed myself first, then by example I would have changed my family. From their inspiration and encouragement, I would then have been able to better my country and, who knows, I may have even changed the world."

--Inscribed on the tomb of an Anglican Bishop in Westminster Abby (1100 AD)

Reading this quote always makes me breathe a huge sigh of relief. 

I am introverted, easily overwhelmed, and need a good deal of rest and alone time just to deal with my life. I am always amazed at stories of people in my same situation (middle-class, middle-aged parents with elementary-aged children) who are adopting twelve children or organizing fund-raisers to build schools in Africa or traveling around the country raising awareness about some good cause when I can barely manage to spend one hour a week in my kids' classrooms helping their teachers. 

Sometimes I feel like the planet's laziest, most under-performing humanoid.

But I am working on my shit 24/7 these days. Ever since my "awakening" - aka the birth of my first child and the two years of sanity-destroying sleep deprivation and insomnia that followed - I am trying every moment to be the most present, grounded, and awake person I can be. 

Sometimes that ain't much. 

But some days it feels like I just might be sending out a wave of light and love big enough to spark a change in my family, my community, my country and maybe even the world.

"Anger is a tool for change when it challenges us to become more of an expert on the self and less of an expert on others."

Harriet Lerner, in The Sun magazine, December 2009

"Honey, this is only a moment, it's not the rest of your life."

Juliana Margulies, quoting her mother, in O magazine, October 2009