Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Life's Not Fair! (And that's the way it's SUPPOSED to be....)

"...[B]y wanting things to be fair, you are depriving people of their lessons." --LD

I was complaining to a friend the other day about something that was patently unfair and this is what she said to me, "Justice is a big issue for you, but by wanting things to be fair, you are depriving people of their lessons." And, BOING! My whole life flashed before me.

"That's not fair!" was my almost constant refrain as a child (just ask my parents) and it infuriated me to no end when they would answer matter-of-factly "Life's not fair."

I would like to think that as I have grown up I have grown in my understanding of the world and that I would have fully realized by now that the world isn't fair. 

And to be fair (ha, ha) to myself, I think I have. Some people have money; some people don't. Some people have good health; some people don't. To a large extent these "facts" of our lives are determined by the choices we make, but there is a good deal of luck and chance and privilege (or lack thereof) that determines how "fair" our lot in life is. I get that now and have (mostly) accepted it. 

What still gets me is when people act blatantly unfair towards other people. 

But the thing is, I don't get to be the ultimate authority on what is fair behavior and what is not. So even if I think someone is being really unfair, I don't get to decide that that is so. 

AND, even if I did, changing an unfair situation into a fair one by sheer force of my will would be depriving someone of a life lesson. And that's not fair!

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