Well, is it?

"Is who you are enough?" --Kimberlee Gorgo

[NB. I am teaching a writing class this month entitled, "WRITE YOUR LIFE!" For more information see my website at: larasimmons.net]

This incarnation of me

"When you meet your needs as they are, without judgments or conditions, they can evolve naturally, in a way that supports your spiritual growth. It is not necessary to pit your spirituality against your humanity." 

--Dr. Cat Saunders

In his book, The Healing Power of Kindness, Vol. 1: Releasing Judgment, Ken Wapnick tells a story about two women who are in A Course in Miracles group together. 

One woman, whom he calls Pat, finds another woman in the group, whom he calls Alice, to be annoying. Unfortunately, once they are in the group together Alice starts coming to the same park that Pat goes to every day for her quiet meditation time. 

Every day Alice comes and sits down next to Pat and annoys her during what is supposed to be her spiritual time. 

Pat is beside herself, not only because she finds Alice so annoying and does not want to sit and talk to her, but also because she feels like since they are in a spiritual group together, she "should" want to talk to her, or at least be able to fake it. 

Ken Wapnick denies that this is what the Course, or any spiritual discipline, requires of us and gives her a great tool for dealing with these situations which I call "This incarnation of me."

He says, "We all have our preferences of likes and dislikes: food, colors, personality types, music...That is a fact of our existence in this world as bodies, and has nothing to do with our spiritual status. Therefore, we need but acknowledge our preferences without making them into an issue. Pat could simply have recognized that she prefers not to spend time with Alice, without hating or judging her and without making the situation into a cosmic spiritual test, which she appeared to have failed...The kind and gentle approach would have been to simply acknowledge: 'This is the self I think I am: I like food A; I like movie A; I prefer to be with person A.' In that spirit, Pat could simply have excused herself and then sat somewhere else or gone back to her apartment, and she would have remained peaceful throughout."

In order to do this we recognize the fact that we have incarnated into this world of illusion in this body and at this time. With every body comes a certain personality, certain likes and dislikes, that we can't change and can't always control. We are going to be triggered by people and events in this lifetime and it is better to recognize that and to accept it than to fight against it. 

Ever since reading this passage when I find myself triggered by a person or an event, I try and remember that "This incarnation of me" does not like blow-hards or brussles sprouts, or that "This incarnation of me" is too tired to read to my kids or have sex with my husband, and just accept that and move on with love.

 The with love being the key. 

This technique requires a lot of self-awareness and great communication skills, otherwise it can be misinterpreted by those around you as selfishness or not caring.

Using "I" messages, while being both kind and firm seems to work well. And many times, even if the other person does not react favorably, I feel relief just being able to accept myself as I am and where I am at that moment.

Exactly as I am

"Let all things be exactly as they are."

--A Course in Miracles

For the past week I have been trying to go to a "hot yoga" class, but I have yet to make it for one reason or another. Today, my alarm didn't go off.

Thank goodness. 

When I realized that I had already missed class I got up, got on the website for the yoga studio and started to do the routine on my own. 

Oh. My. God. 

It kicked by butt from here to Albuquerque.

Some of them I could hardly do, much less hold for 60 seconds. 

I struggled through the standing poses, exhausted and sweating by the end of the half hour and decided to call it good for today. 

My performance was sloppy and uneven and not at all as graceful as I had imagined. I was thanking my lucky stars that The Universe - or whatever force was at work - had sabotaged my alarm this morning. I am clearly NOT ready to do this for 90 minutes in a room heated to 110 degrees!

So. I am not as strong or as flexible as I remembered myself to be or hoped I was or imagined myself to be. Okay. 

This is disappointing, but as I lay there in Corpse pose "integrating" my work for the morning, I found that I wasn't fighting against it as hard as I might have expected. Having experienced this a few times in my life by now I know what to do. 

Accept. Practice. Improve. Celebrate!

See you tomorrow yoga mat.

Emanating Love

"Emanate love to all in your sphere without distinction or prejudice." 

--Sunyata Satchitananda from the website www.mythiclove.net

I went to a Holiday concert this week that a friend of mine and her children were performing in. It was a lovely performance; the director was enthusiastic, the songs were uplifting and everyone seemed to be having a great time.

There was one woman in the choir who particularly stood out for me. She was standing in the back, not doing anything special, but as she sang she just radiated love.

I watched her closely throughout the whole concert, trying to figure out her secret. I studied her face to try and see what was different.

Physically, there was nothing special about her face. It was more attractive then some, less attractive than others, but a pretty basic human face. Still, there was something about it that went beyond the physical.

Her face was open. Her face was loose and broad and radiant. Her face was smiling all the time.

I kept finding myself thinking: I want to do that.

And asking the question that followed: How do you do that?

As I continued to look at the woman with the radiant face what I saw was Total Acceptance. Of herself and of others. She truly loved herself and therefore had no reason to hate anyone else.

I know that I am not there yet, but I hope that's where I'm headed.

"Instead of dreaming about who you want to be, enjoy who you are."

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"God dwells within you, as you."

Swamiji from Elizabeth Gilbert's book Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia

Looks are nothing without Spirit.

From an advertisement